Dysfunctional Wednesday “Heave Ho!”

We had ourselves a Dysfunctional Wednesday moment…but on a Tuesday!

My seven year old granddaughter, Aubrey had some dental work done this morning. Thankfully, it was her last visit! As usual, they used nitrous oxide (laughing gas) to help with the whole experience. In the past, she’s done perfectly fine with the gas…except she doesn’t laugh or get loopy like most kids.  She gets meaner than a junkyard dog. However, today was different. She became ill and even was sick in the chair.  By the time she came out she was still nauseous, but we decided to stop for some ginger ale on the way home to help settle her tummy.

We were two minutes into the twenty minute journey home when I looked over at Aubrey. Her face was pale, but before I could ask if she needed me to pull over…she heaved all over my front seat. I immediately pulled to the side of the road, but she heaved again.  This time into my brand new purse. I managed to get the truck window down for poor Aubrey to finish being sick, but not before she heaved all over the inside of the truck door.

Now for those who know me well…I have a very weak stomach. I could change my babies’ diapers, but puke…NO! That was my husband’s area of expertise. While Aubrey was heaving I had my head hanging out the driver’s side window and gagging. I was able to redirect Aubrey into a different seat…a clean one and did the only thing I could do.  Drive as fast as I could home with my head hanging out the window!

What should have been a relatively easy eighteen minute drive home turned into a forty-five minute ordeal plagued with road construction and one lane traffic! Not once, but twice! The entire time my head was hanging out the window to keep from getting ill. Once I was free from traffic jams I drove like Richard Petty the rest of the way home. I hit those Carolina backroads like my truck was on rails and not tires. When I finally made it home my hair looked like Medusa’s, and I lost a new purse, a bag of yarn, and my Pepsi…which flew out of my cup holder and onto the front floorboards. If this wasn’t my life…it would almost be comical.





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